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Substitute Teacher - Tucson USD

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Best of all, though, if a supervisor walks in, it makes you look really good. After reading the rules, you should have students brainstorm new ones. You can subsequently submit these with your notes to the teacher, and strongly suggest they be implemented. After all, America is a democracy, right? If done correctly, this can be very entertaining to either the students or the teacher but never both.

Basically, ask students to find the three examples of metaphor in the school policy, and then make that into a lesson plan. However, this is a sign of appreciation. There is usually an offender in every class, whether it is an exposed midriff or a runny nose. One thing that students hate about substitute teachers is that they can never seem to remember names of students, or that they mispronounce the names of students, leading to a number of, um…accidents involving the sub.

Well, use those skills! If you are unsure of how to pronounce a name, sound it out before shouting it. This helps in pronouncing all names, from Nicholas Patisse to Zachary Xu. In fact, using the confidence this method affords, make sure to shout it extra loud. If you really get stuck on a name, go to Google translate and translate it into an obscure language.

Pretend to use another language. This is similar to the one above, but it can be used without access to a computer. Basically, just call out the name. Then, when the students laugh because of the poor pronunciation, you can tell them that was the name in Macedonian.

You should run to the office and ask why, exactly, do they even have a Macedonian class offered? Stay vague and general. Make your own names. This is easy and fun. Simply figure out what is most obvious about a person and call them by that.

This suggests the person is no better than a bark chip on a playground. Force students to wear nametags. Give them all nametags and ask them to write their name on one. Then have them stick it to their back. This way, when they turn around, you can see their name and yell at them to face forward why else would you need to know their name?

No matter how great a substitute teacher you may be, there will always be free time for the students at some point during the class. The students will use this time to organize rebellion and build siege weapons.

The always-popular snipe hunt, adapted for a classroom. Describe a snipe to students and tell them the first one to catch it gets gum. Also, these birds have invisibility powers. Bring one of those super-bounce balls and throw it as hard as you can at the nearest wall make sure to shut the windows. The male students will go nuts trying to catch it. Bonus points for hitting a students face.

Give students some riddles to solve you can put them on the board. Bring a supply of coconuts. If there is free time, give each student a coconut and explain, at length, the health benefits of drinking coconut milk.

Then pass out straws and wait. Encourage students to attack Butch with school supplies so that he runs out of the classroom. Needle in a Hay Stack. If you are in a rural town, go outside, find some hay, and bring it inside. The student that finds it gets a prize the prize is getting to keep the staple.

The students will take it. Then, you can take away the candy and give an hour-long lecture on accepting food from strangers, and why it might encourage strangers to give away food continuously, leading to their death by starvation. And, with quick enough hands, you can use the same 30 candies for your whole career. Of course, you will need to be able to speak fast at the end of each one, and keep a straight face while telling your students that the product you just recommended will probably kill them, or at least cause a severe esophagus malfunction that leads to the regurgitation of their lungs.

If your class is unruly, this section will be of terrific help. Often, you will see the same types of unruly behavior across a wide variety of locations. While this has fallen out of popularity in recent years, it is a classic, so I might as well start with it. Usually the student shooting the spitball is sending a message about the state of society, as they know it.

This app has a choke hold on the straw industry. This trick alerts you to the fact that there is another substitute teacher in the building that day, one new enough to believe that each and every student has a loose arm socket that they need a rubber band to secure.

It simply means that they are busy voting for whom they feel is the best player of a sports competition. Of course, if you catch them watching the sports game on their phone, be very offended. All this tells you is that a few of your students may be sociopaths. Smith gives birth to three-headed alien politician! This is the most vital part of your costum-I mean, attire. Frankly, I have never seen anyone in real life wearing one of these.

However, they are extremely important. Not because you need to protect your pocket, but because of the image they present: Also, there is the off chance that a sick student will walk up to you and throw up in your pocket.

I mean, think about it. Knee-high waders will keep you looking your best if, as it always seems to at the worst possible moments, the toilet overflows. Arrow through the Head. Not a real arrow, of course, but one of those fake ones that is attached to a headband. This will give the impression that you are already dead, and, thus, the students should not make any effort to make your life even more miserable.

Also, these are simply cool to have. Hands down, this will boost your coolness factor and freak the students out. Just as the students hate it when you butcher their name, it is not appreciated when they kill your name.

Write it on the Board. Write your name in all caps on the board, with pronunciation. Then, if any student messes your name up, list their name under it, with an arrow saying: Nothing re-affirms words like repetition. Also, my name is Mr. If your name is bad, you need to lie. Names that are words or celebrities fall under this category such as Mrs. Instead, become either Mr. Gorgoveztskyorinithmisian and, of course, combine this with tip Continuing the cow joke, I stumbled upon this brilliant idea.

Oh, not on students, of course, because that is probably against the law. On the board, I meant unless you live in some place like Nebraska and have cows grazing outside the school. In this case, you should brand the map on the wall with your name, because you want to remember not to sub in Nebraska again.

Apparently, a new fad amongst teachers is to give tests as often as plane fares change, because of the correlation between a teacher trying to earn enough money to pay the bus fare to the airport and the erratic schedule of the public bus system and while students test, the teacher can work a side job, such as being a technical writer.

This has resulted in a drop in grades, due to the fact that, while the number of test questions has increased, the number of answers the students bother to learn has not. What this means for you, as a substitute, is that it is likely you will need to give a test to students during the day, and that you should be prepared to do this. The Golden Rule of Cheating. If you catch a student cheating, they obviously would like to be cheated off of as well. Therefore, you should snatch their test and copy all of the answers that they have so far onto the board at the front of the room.

If anybody so much as glances at these answers, they too are cheating, so you should do the same with their test. If the class is made up of normal teenagers, and not teens who show up to school with a collar and tie and seven last names one of them being a number written with Roman numerals , by the end of the class the board will be covered in answers.

At this point, you can allow cheating, because it is likely that each student will be stupid enough to cheat off of his or her own answers on the board. Therefore, during a test is a great time to learn a new instrument, especially trumpet, drums, or barry sax.

Take a Job on the side. Nothing should prevent you from doing other work while students take a test. However, make sure that you are equipped with a mask of some sort, so that you can slide it above your eyes as you look down and make it seem as if you are still scanning the class but it can be difficult to find a school-appropriate mask. If you are not giving the impression that you are constantly watching the students, then they will form groups and, consequently, all blame a group member for their failure instead of themselves.

Sometimes, a student will ask a question about something on the test. This is always an attempt to gain help with the question, no matter how innocent it might seem. Therefore, you need to avoid answering these questions, and instead go on the offensive attack is the best defense. Seating arrangements can make it easier or harder to cheat, depending on how close the desks are. To ensure it is impossible to cheat, you should utilize all objects in the room to spread the students out. Yes, you read that right.

Also, after this section I will try to restrain myself when it comes to jokes on how little teachers make because the teachers of today barely—ahem, sorry.

Gotta love it, for it is the most useful tool of making extra money. You know all those papers that need a parent signature? And organ donor form? Yeah, sure, son, just have fun. For added entertainment, attach this clause in bolded, all-caps size 24 font and see all of the forms still come back signed.

However, if you take, say, three paper clips a day, in a few millennia you will have enough to become a door-to-door paper clip salesman assuming, of course, that in future millennia there are still doors, and not some amazing and frequently re-released Apple product instead.

Use any spare time you have to create a very believable invitation for money for, say, a long-lost grandmother in Libya. Chances are, the school facilities are lacking a lemonade stand. You need to show up at the school an hour early, with thirty or more fresh Starbucks products.

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They are free to download. The following is just a small sampling:. We are committed to offering the best resume examples you can find. Our samples reflect the lives of real people who have asked us for help. After fixing their resumes we asked if we could use them as gold standard examples to help other job seekers. Writing a strong application is a tough process and we want to make it easier. Perhaps while searching for examples you noticed poor samples all over the web.

We, on the other hand, want to give you solid examples to help you write a resume you can be proud of. We do this because it is impossible to make an example for every single job. The major problem we found while looking for resume examples was that there were so few worth showing you! It was a difficult process clicking through website after website to get you the best alternate samples. We understand your frustration in just trying to find a quality example.

As such, our goal is to give you the best tools you need to succeed. We do that by: If you find a mistake or problem in one of our links, look at the note next to it telling you what to watch out for. You can use our resume building software to make your own from scratch. If any of our terms are confusing, you can check out our glossary of terms. Looking for more than just examples? Build a custom resume in minutes with our Resume Builder Software! Substitute teachers work on an as needed basis and their hours may not be consistent.

However, it is possible for substitution to lead to a more permanent position. Some school districts require a minimum number of college credit hours. Yet in other institutions, only a high school diploma may be required.

These differences in education may also depend upon if the substitution is short-term or long-term. In addition to earning the education needed, the perspective substitute teachers should acquire a background check and make sure to meet health and immunization requirements.

All school employees must complete a criminal background check, which includes submitting fingerprints. Convictions and pending criminal cases will disqualify prospective substitute teachers from becoming certified or licensed. Most districts will require all school employees to have updated immunization records. Some districts even call for training on communicable health topics.

Depending on the school district, prospective substitute teachers may be required to complete training courses and pass written exams in order to earn certification. After obtaining certification, individuals are allowed to substitute in a variety of grade levels and schools within a district.

Districts have diverse standards and guidelines that substitutes must meet in order to renew and keep their certifications updated. Some districts require interviews.

Substitute teachers may also need to complete an orientation program. An individual may give themselves more substitute teaching options by earning an advanced degree. In summary, to become a successful substitute teacher , you should strive to meet any and all educational requirements, obtain substitute teacher certification, work in a local school district, and potentially even earn an advanced degree.

Becoming a Substitute Teacher. Find out what the state of Arizona requires from potential substitute teachers. Read about education requirements as well as Though substitute teachers do not need to meet the same requirements as full-time teachers, there are still certain criteria Colorado requires that its substitute teachers renew their licenses after a certain amount of time. Below is information on how Substitute teaching can be both a challenging and rewarding job.

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Writing a teacher resume template can be quite challenging; because your dealings will entail imparting knowledge and two because the teaching profession shapes young minds, so you have to demonstrate these two qualities to your employer. Welcome to the Charter School Substitute Teacher Network (CSSTN). If your charter school is scrambling to find qualified substitutes for your classrooms or if you need more personalized support, CSSTN can help!